Met with one of my favorite film director/artists today about the possibility of making a video for the new album..!!!!!…..
and for some reason in my montage of unedited thoughts that leap from my mouth I mentioned the image of a hole in the ground…with me in it. Now, there were a million other things mentioned and I have no idea why I said that cause it makes no real sense…it certainly didn’t in the moment…it was a passing word, a random image that has been circling my mind…a moment no one else at the meeting probably remembers…but I do.

And now I think about myself in that hole in the ground, and the dirt around me and the roots and stones sprinkling the walls of my captive safe place, in the earth….and I wonder…as I often do…
why does that feel like the most truthful thing I have said in a long while? Why have I expressed how I see myself as this man deep within the earth, surrounded by the ground and urging himself to WANT to climb out? I think about what it is to make that climb, how every grab and pull at the walls of your open captive hole both drown you and bury you further and bring you one stop closer to the light. The dirt crumbles…I can feel it in my face. I can taste it.
What is it about the earth for me? Why am I here in this city? This city of so little dirt? Why are my shoes on right now? hmmmmmm…

When I blurted this ” ..yeah, like I’m in a hole in the ground…..” (thankfully I believe I made some truly cohesive and inspired thoughts and impressions)…I think I was climbing in my mind. I think I’m always climbing in my mind. I hope I’m always climbing in my mind. I like the way the dirt feels. I like the light. I like the coolness of being under. I like the smell of it. I like how people could be all around me and if I didn’t make a sound maybe they wouldn’t notice I was down there…and yet if I did, if I shouted and pulled, the earth would move and they would look down and see me….see only me….and like always, the arms, the hands, the faces pressed to the earth to reach as far as they could would come for me.

I could wave…
I could reach…..

Peace, be you,
Jake