I think there are many feelings uniquely painful in this life.  I’m not thinking about the feelings of loss, or death or terrible heartbreak, but instead the sickening, angering, jumping out of your skin, devastatingly draining minutes, or hours, or with the strongest of love, even days of “lovers quarrels”…I chose that phrase because “fighting” is silly and not indicitive of the process of growth I want to speak of…and yet there is nothing subdued or serene or pretty about the cadence of action one must know during this time of chaos killing your bliss.

You sync with one soul, one body, one mind, one dream, commitment…your freedoms and purpose and that which words could never say.  Every moment and facet of your existence rides in this most miraculous balance.  For me, it is knowing I was a man in chaos, a jumpin’ bumpin’ atom in space, beautiful only by proxy to the random day, the passing star or moonshadow….found not suddenly, but with the last ounce of hope I had, the greatest leap…found face to face with my one in a billion.

I think of Pangea.  You know, the super continent Earth once had and is quaking and shaking its way to again.  And I think of the growing pains of the continental separation, how the connections exist and yet the harmony is absent.  If we were to speed up time, to relate the cycle of these growing pains of a relationship, to the entire separation and eventual final reconnection of the bodies of our home planet into one again…well, you may find me crazy like I feel sometimes, or you may think, “Wow Jake, you are a nerd” (truth)…or totally pissed at my random analogy, OR maybe, just maybe that random thought of mine might make sense to you like it does to me.  I think it’s actually beautiful.

…as are all growing pains.  AS are all destinations worthy of their journey…

I can’t get this phrase out of my mind.  GROWING PAINS.

One of these life truths that can teach us a lot about perspective in a world of NOW and the moment.

Someone once told me

“To be alive in any form can be defined by the simple ability to grow”

That stuck with me.  And in the heat of battle, amongst the desperation of chaos and disharmony of misunderstanding, when words were simply exhausted and the answers as with anything of true value only felt and not spoken, I looked into those eyes that melt me and I took a breath and remembered what was ultimately real for US and said “growing pains…”

Somehow it soothed my seething everything and reminded me of the beauty in the darkness.  It reminded me that from birth to death, all growth knows some pain.  It is a natural wonder, a gift wrapped in razor blades.

Our bodies grow, our minds grow, our power of spirit grows, our relationships and understandings and hearts, they all must grow in order to stay alive…and many times in happens in bursts.

And many times it leaves us helpless and confused and paralyzed by the fear and bliss of the unknown.

Growing pains are beautiful.  They scream in our conscious and rattle our bones and allow us the gift of continued life.

“It takes a lot to love another…”

yes, yes it does

but love, love is not what you say, it’s what you do.  It’s choice and yet it is divine intervention.

So maybe, when the pains of our growth make us question our strength, question our bonds and our truths, our paths together, maybe this simple yet most dynamic facet of LIFE can remind us that in fact we are on a journey far greater than our momentary pains…an evolution of our time here that is necessary, vital and in fact miraculous

as is love

as are we

as it must be

yes I know what love is.  It is gentle and severe, effortless and brutal.  It is hard as steel and soft as snow.  It is faith.  It is everything.  It is a miracle…

…to care for someone as you could never care for yourself.  Its how we whisper and how we touch.

It’s every day.

It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever known.

It makes you better.

It makes you…

Peace, be you,
Jake